On Rod Ellis

Rod Ellis entered my life the day he climbed through a window to enter Greek class. The degree program in which we were both enrolled at our undergraduate school required two years of Greek. I always sat in the front row because I expected the class to be very difficult and I wanted to be as close as possible to the professor so I didn’t miss anything. The old building which contained the classroom had, to my left, an alcove that included three windows with access to a large porch. I happened to glance to my left and I saw a smiling face appear through the window followed by shoulders and the rest of the body as he climbed sideways into the room. Most of the class was laughing as he gained his balance and apologized to the professor for his tardiness. Fortunately, our Greek professor was good humored and laughed at his entrance. Rod later explained to me that since he was going to be late, and there was no way to slip into the classroom unnoticed, he decided to be as noticed as possible. A Short Synopsis This is the short version of my friendship with Rod Ellis. If you want to read more stories and more details, those will follow. That day in Greek class I had no way of knowing that our lives would connect and we would embark on a friendship that would span 48 years. His careers included Pastor, Editor, Jeweler, Life Insurance Sales, Health Club Manager, Business Entrepreneur, Sociologist, Sociology Professor, School Headmaster & Author. Each time Rod changed careers, I was amazed at his ability to apply himself, educate himself about his new career and succeed. His degrees, at least the ones I’m sure of, include Associate Degree in Music, Bachelor of Arts in Ministry & Biblical Studies, Masters in Sociology and PhD in Sociology. He has authored many books and professional papers in his field of Sociology. He also authored a book about motorcycles titled The Old Man’s Guide to a Brand New Ride. Most recently he wrote a book about his Haiti life titled, Drawn and Driven: My Haiti Adventure. You’ve heard the old title, “An accomplished man.” That was Rod. Rod and I developed a friendship that was built around conversations. We never lacked for words. As single males in our 20’s we discussed women, spirituality, women, books, women, movies, women, food, women, fitness and women. Fortunately, we were never attracted to the same woman so we never argued over who got to ask her out! We ate together, often and enjoyed a wide variety of foods. We ran together, literally we would drive to Winton Woods in Cincinnati and run the Parcourse Trail. We both loved reading mysteries, especially Sherlock Holmes and we both loved seeing movies. Tho he had a fine singing voice, Rod was never interested in being a musician but was always interested in hearing my stories of traveling to various places to sing. We lost contact, details below, from 1984 till 2008. After we reconnected, the conversation picked up again, at first strictly by email, then phone calls, a couple of in-person visits, then Facebook messages. Once he moved to Haiti, the phones calls were infrequent but we still shared regular Facebook messages. We still never lacked for words. About six months ago, I messaged him and told him I was really missing the freedom to have long phone conversations. He responded that he had been thinking the same thing. Just this morning, as I continued to process his death, I realize there will never again be an opportunity for one of those conversations. There was comfort in the words. Even when we disagreed, the disagreements never negatively impacted our friendship. He inspired me, challenged me, made me think and helped me laugh. The Biscuit Caper One story for this short section about an evening, not long after Kentucky Fried Chicken added a new type of biscuit to their menu, we decided that, in the interest of science and any other excuse we could think of, that we needed to spend the evening eating biscuits from different restaurants to see whose were the best. That evening we ate biscuits from KFC, Bill Knapps & Bob Evans. Since Rod was from the South he believed he was a biscuit expert. I was not from the South, but grew up with “country cooking,” which, though different from Southern cooking still relies on good biscuits. After our evening adventure, we determined that we just could not decide and that more research would be necessary! Rod was a good friend, not just to me, but to many others. I have marveled at the testimonies on his Facebook page and have especially enjoyed reading those from his Sociology students and his friends in Haiti. The Long Version I have a lot to say about Rod. Feel free to skip around. It is not essential that you read every word. It was essential that I write every word. A few weeks after his unique entrance into Greek class, I noticed on a bulletin board near the classroom, a small handbill advertising a revival at a country church in Kentucky to be led by Rod Ellis. I asked Rod if that was him and he confirmed it. At the bottom of the handbill were the words, “Y’all Come!” That was the day I nicknamed him “Y’all.” He didn’t seem to mind and even told me it was one of his favorite nicknames. We discovered that though Rod and I shared the passion for leading people to Christ, our backgrounds were vastly different. Rod was raised in church and was preparing to become a minister in a church. I was not raised in church, was in school mostly to learn more about the Bible and, although I was certain I would be in some type of ministry, I doubted that it would be as a church pastor. At the time, I was on staff at The Jesus House, an outreach ministry to youth & young adults. We hosted concerts every Saturday night attended by high school & college students. The music was definitely not church-style music. Rod visited one week and, even though it was different than he was accustomed, he liked what he experienced. One week I asked him to speak after the music, which was, for him, a very different setting. Rod was a leader on campus, while I tended to keep to myself. He lived on campus, I commuted. Everyone knew him, few people knew me. One year the school hosted a Preaching Contest, something I thought was a travesty. Rod entered and won! When Rod’s home church agreed to ordain him on a Sunday morning, I was traveling to perform a concert. I was able to adjust my schedule to attend church in Lexington, see him ordained, hug him, then get back on the road to the concert. Though we had our disagreements, a bond continued to grow. Our final semester of school we were in a Preaching class together. (Officially called Homiletics.). We had each taken two previous preaching classes but with different professors. For this final class we had Dr. Karnes together, the professor that I thought was the best preaching professor. With Dr. Karnes, I always received A’s on my sermons and B’s in the class because I was never able to score an A on his exams! For our final exam, Dr. Karnes allowed Rod and me to take it separate from the class. I do not remember why but we both must have had a good reason. We decided to meet at his off-campus apartment, review together, then take the exam. While we were reviewing, Rod offered me a small glass of sherry. Yes, alcohol was forbidden by our school, but we were weeks away from graduation! So, we reviewed, drank sherry and took the test at his kitchen table. It’s the only Dr. Karnes exam in which I scored an A! I do not know if it was reviewing with Rod or drinking the sherry but I’m not arguing with the results! After Graduation Rod had been preaching at a small church in Kentucky during our last couple of years of school but upon graduation, he decided he wanted to do something different. I was happy he decided to stay in Cincinnati rather than moving back to Lexington. Not sure what his parents thought about that decision! He was hired by a local publishing company as an editor to produce children’s Sunday school and VBS material. A few years later, he again decided on something different and sought a sales jobs. For awhile he worked at a jewelry store, then entered the field of Life Insurance. Life Insurance would provide him income off and on for many years. A year after graduation, Rod asked me why I was not ordained. I told him that in the Bible, God told the church in Antioch to set aside Paul & Barnabas so I decided if God wanted me to be ordained, he would tell the church with which I was affiliated. Rod pointed out I Timothy 3:1 to me that the desire to be a leader was a good thing. So, at his urging, I approached the Elders of Highview Christian Church and told them my desire. They set me up with a marathon session of many hours during which they quizzed me about everything. They then agreed to ordain me and, since I believed Rod got me into this, I told him he had to lead the congregational singing at my ordination service. I also required him to wear his yellow suit! I was honored to sing at his wedding to Ann. Even though their marriage did not last, they were two good people who entered marriage with enthusiasm for each other. Hilarious things Happened to Rod. One day, while running at Winton Woods, Rod told me he was tired of his size and had decided to lose weight. He invested himself in that like he did everything else. Besides continuing to run, he started swimming every morning and lifting weights every evening. He seriously changed his menu, cutting out nearly all desserts and fast food. During the next 12 months he lost 80 lbs. In that season, Rod was volunteering with the youth group at the church we both attended. The youth group hosted a swim party. Rod knew that as an adult volunteer the teenagers would definitely expect him to be in the pool. His dilemma was that he had lost so much weight that his old swim trunks were way too big but he was uncomfortable wearing the skimpy speedo that he wore for swimming laps. He decided to wear his old trunks and pull the waist as tight as possible. Part way though the evening, one of the high school girls, Greta, challenge him to a race. Rod was always ready to meet a challenge so he agreed. When someone yelled go, Rod pushed off the side of the pool with all the power he had in his legs and immediately felt his swim trunks down at his knees! He kept swimming alternating his hands trying desperately to pull up his trunks. He did not win the race but he won the prize for creating the most laughter. Rod’s weight loss inspired him in a new career direction. He became a manager for health clubs. The company used him to establish new branches of their clubs. After he was successful in starting a club in Cincinnati, he as transferred to Columbus. After his move, I saw him twice, once when he came to town to finalize his divorce and once when I slept at his Columbus apartment after performing a concert at the Wesley Foundation at Otterbein University. Then we lost contact. For 24 years. Permanent Reconnection I found him again on an email thread which also included Vicki, a mutual friend from college with whom Rod had attended high school. I reconnected with both of them via email. We had many three-way (no chili involved) email conversations. During those conversations, Rod admitted that he was no longer involved in church and had left his faith behind. He was now a Professor of Sociology at the University of Tennessee. I had to know the story that led to his being Dr. Ellis and so, once we began phone conversations, I received the story. From Columbus, he was transferred to Florida, eventually left that company, started a business with a friend, who stole all the assets of the company and left Rod with the debts. One day he was sitting on the beach near Cape Canaveral with less than $2.00 in his pocket. He had driven there in a borrowed car. He was living in a crummy basement apartment and had no future. While sitting on the beach he evaluated his life and didn’t like what he saw. He decided to make a big change but didn’t know how. He said he wanted a career in which he could help people. He no longer had a faith that would allow him to go back into the ministry, so he decided on either Sociology or Psychology. Ultimately, Sociology won. He returned to the Life Insurance field to pay the bills and feed himself while in school. He was able to earn a Master’s & PhD in Sociology. Upon graduation he permanently left the Life Insurance field. He was hired to teach and went looking for a new apartment. The first place he looked had only a penthouse apartment available. The manager to him to the top floor and as they walked down the hallway, Rod noticed the apartments were labeled PH-A, PH-B, PH-C. When they arrived at PH-D, the manager said, “This is the unit.” Rod looked at the address on the door and said, “I’ll take it!” The manager asked, “Don’t you want to see it?” Rod’s answer was, “Sure, but I’m taking it. I want that address.” Rod and I continued to have many phone conversations with a couple of in person reunions in the Cincinnati area. The first time we saw each other, we were eating Skyline Chili (naturally) and I showed him photos of my wife & children, whom he had never met. After staring a the photos for awhile he looked up and said, “Your wife is very attractive.” I responded with, “Yes.” Then he added, “How did that happen?” His Return to Faith Our many phone conversations covered a wide-variety of topics but nearly every conversation touched on Christianity. I was not trying to re-convert my friend, but there were times when I had questions about where he stood with Jesus, questions he freely answered. There were other times when he asked me clarifying questions about Christianity. He freely shared some personal details which I’ll not include here because I never asked him how many people knew them. After several years of conversations, he called me at my office one day and, after verifying that I was free to talk, said he wanted to tell me a couple of things then ask me one question. During the next 15 minutes he told me what he believed about Christianity, Jesus and spiritual things. After his explanation then he said, “Now it’s time for my question. If I believe those things, do you think it is safe for me to call myself a Christian?” I responded with a simple, “Yes.” “Good, then I’m a Christian. Maybe not the same type of Christian I used to be, but I’m a Christian.” Rod’s spiritual hunger grew to the point where he took an online course on Spirituality from a Nazarene Seminary. All of that, along with a few other forces in his life, led him to his final career change. Drawn to Haiti. Three years ago, Rod made a huge move, the details of which you can read if you buy his book about Haiti. He decided to retire from his position at the University of Tennessee, shut down his private practice and move to Haiti. There were many reasons for his decision, some he shared publicly, some privately. Our phone conversations have been rare during these three years. Like many of his friends, I mainly kept up with him on Facebook. After he became headmaster of the school, I prayed for him everyday because he shared with me his goals for the school. He even invited me to visit him and guest lecture for a week at the school. I could not do it then, and I regret not finding a way. While in Haiti, he built a house, made many new friends and, as far as he shared with me, enjoyed his new life. On his death: According to Rod’s brother Gary Ellis, the night before his death, some friends from his church in Tennessee called. They had notes, letters and children’s drawings that, instead of mailing, decided to read over the phone. A nurse was kind enough to hold the phone to his ear, as his friends read the notes and described the drawings. Rod passed away at approximately 5 AM the next morning. His brother wrote these words: “I want to thank the incredible number of friends and colleagues who have traveled the tumultuous seas of his journey for the past five weeks. Words cannot communicate the power of your support. Certainly, Rod led a very rich and full life to be surrounded by such loving, caring, and compassionate friends and colleagues. . . Rod was deeply blessed to have such dear friends. May God bless each of you.” I miss my friend. I miss our conversations. Rod, I suggest you find us a good spot in heaven because when I arrive, we’ll have a lot to discuss.